Who knows? Maybe it's the fact that I have a milestone birthday this year... the big 4-0, but I've recently found myself becoming more nostalgic - taking into consideration the breadth and depth of my life and wondering if I'm doing it "right". Now here's the cool thing - I could care less that I'm turning 40, doesn't bother me at all. In fact, I embrace each year as they come, thankful that I have them. To me, another year on this earth signifies survival, strength, more time with my family and friends, more knowledge, more joy.
If I close my eyes and picture the woman I want to be.... picture the photograph of that woman, what I don't see is the typical society-created woman-desperately-trying-to-not-look-her-age. I want to radiate strength, health, and knowledge from the inside out, not vice versa. It appears to me as though many women faced with aging try to fix the outside. Almost like trying to do an extreme makeover on a 60-year-old house.... new siding, new kitchen, update the bathroom fixtures. But, none of that matters if the foundation isn't sound. If love isn't echoed off the wal
ls of the home.
The woman I see in the picture is smiling. Not afraid of the smile (and frown) lines worn into her face. She is outdoors. Not smothered under sun screen but warmed by the sun. Her hair is long even though that's "not appropriate" for someone her age. Maybe in two French braids to keep the hair out of her face. Maybe there's a dash of mascara.... or maybe not. She is smart, she is proud, she is thankful, and she is happy. Her legs hurt from a day of hiking, her back is sore, and yet she smiles.
I am human, I admit, and I struggle with the same insecurities that many women struggle with - my thighs are too big, is that a grey hair? down there? But instead of being insecure, I want to embrace the body God gave me and treat it as though it was His temple. You know what? I'm proud to be sturdy Maine stock. We're rugged. That's just how He made us. My legs will never be small, nor will my butt. But, that's ok - and let me tell you, the butt comes in really handy while backpacking! It's a great shelf for my backpack to rest on!
There's an exercise that I do with the 7 Habits seminar - where I walk the participants through a visualization exercise - visualizing their funeral. What will your family say? your friends? your co-workers? Maybe it's because I had my best friend taken away from me when she was just 21, but I feel like I owe something to the world. As silly as it sounds, I want to make a difference. I want to inspire someone. I want to know that my life contributed to someone else's for the better. There's an awesome song playing on KLOVE right now that reminds me of this - I Want to Leave a Legacy. (I have the lyrics below)
So that will be my challenge in the coming days, months, years or as long as God gives me on this earth... creating my legacy. The mother, wife, sister, daughter, aunt, friend, teacher that I want to be. I want to be someone my girls are proud to say is their mother, who has inspired them to seek greatness in their lives, who taught them strength, pride, kindness, and compassion. I want my husband to know I loved him fully and truly. I want my friends to know that I was always there for them, if not physically, then emotionally.
And screw the funeral! I want a luau. When He takes me home, I want a party - (yes, you can even have a mai tai!) I want bright colors and music and laughter.
Lyrics from Nichole Nordeman:
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
If I close my eyes and picture the woman I want to be.... picture the photograph of that woman, what I don't see is the typical society-created woman-desperately-trying-to-not-look-her-age. I want to radiate strength, health, and knowledge from the inside out, not vice versa. It appears to me as though many women faced with aging try to fix the outside. Almost like trying to do an extreme makeover on a 60-year-old house.... new siding, new kitchen, update the bathroom fixtures. But, none of that matters if the foundation isn't sound. If love isn't echoed off the wal
ls of the home.The woman I see in the picture is smiling. Not afraid of the smile (and frown) lines worn into her face. She is outdoors. Not smothered under sun screen but warmed by the sun. Her hair is long even though that's "not appropriate" for someone her age. Maybe in two French braids to keep the hair out of her face. Maybe there's a dash of mascara.... or maybe not. She is smart, she is proud, she is thankful, and she is happy. Her legs hurt from a day of hiking, her back is sore, and yet she smiles.
I am human, I admit, and I struggle with the same insecurities that many women struggle with - my thighs are too big, is that a grey hair? down there? But instead of being insecure, I want to embrace the body God gave me and treat it as though it was His temple. You know what? I'm proud to be sturdy Maine stock. We're rugged. That's just how He made us. My legs will never be small, nor will my butt. But, that's ok - and let me tell you, the butt comes in really handy while backpacking! It's a great shelf for my backpack to rest on!
There's an exercise that I do with the 7 Habits seminar - where I walk the participants through a visualization exercise - visualizing their funeral. What will your family say? your friends? your co-workers? Maybe it's because I had my best friend taken away from me when she was just 21, but I feel like I owe something to the world. As silly as it sounds, I want to make a difference. I want to inspire someone. I want to know that my life contributed to someone else's for the better. There's an awesome song playing on KLOVE right now that reminds me of this - I Want to Leave a Legacy. (I have the lyrics below)
So that will be my challenge in the coming days, months, years or as long as God gives me on this earth... creating my legacy. The mother, wife, sister, daughter, aunt, friend, teacher that I want to be. I want to be someone my girls are proud to say is their mother, who has inspired them to seek greatness in their lives, who taught them strength, pride, kindness, and compassion. I want my husband to know I loved him fully and truly. I want my friends to know that I was always there for them, if not physically, then emotionally.
And screw the funeral! I want a luau. When He takes me home, I want a party - (yes, you can even have a mai tai!) I want bright colors and music and laughter.
Lyrics from Nichole Nordeman:
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
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1 comment:
That was the most amazing thing I have ever read. Mom you have made a huge difference in my life and im extremely thankful for it. You are the best mom any one could ever ask for. I love you to death!!! :)
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