My beliefs

Ok... so this might cause some upset... BUT... here are my beliefs. In black and white.

1. There is such thing as karma. Do the right thing. ALWAYS. It will come back to you.
2. Christ was here. He died for us. God gave His son for our sins. Of this, I have no doubts.
3. Cheating is the most disgusting act. The only thing worse then men who give in to their lust is the stupid women that do it with a married man. They are lower than the plankton that the pond scum feeds upon.
4. No matter how much we try to give our "lessons learned" to our children, they need to learn it for themselves. All the cruel lessons of life.... There is no "get-out-of-jail-card-free".
5. There is nothing like a best friend. She (or he) is irreplaceable.
6. You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family (0k... I stole that one). And bottom line, there is something about your family that, no matter what, you gotta love. They made you what you are... for better or for worse.
7. Attitude is everything. I have seen a bitter person defeated under the same circumstances that I've seen a strong person suceed. The power is ours.
8. Nobody "owes" us anything. We are here to work hard, earn our keep, and be deserving of what we receive.
9. I like Sarah Palin. I really do. I think she's real. I think she's cool. Hats off to a hockey-mom. It's ok... really.
10. Obama = Hitler. But worse. (Can you say "satan"?) Enough said.
11. As soon as you stop wanting to learn and grow and challenge yourself, you've died.
12. Count your blessings every day. Live each day like it's your last... it might very well be.
13. I believe in the right to bear arms. If my government isn't going to protect me, I'll take care of it.
14. People who steal SUCK.
15. Bitterness and unforgiveness is like cancer. It eats away at your heart and soul.
16. There is nothing more amazing than a dog curled up at the end of your bed.
17. If you don't believe in God, just turn to nature. Marvel at the sunrise, the trout in the stream, the trees reaching to heaven, the smell of pine.
18. Beauty is truly on skin-deep. Look inside to know the soul.
19. Travel. Be open to other cultures, beliefs. If you travel, truly experience the culture. It will be life-changing.
20. God blessed me... truly. I have three amazing daughters, a best friend that I love more than anyone, and a husband that truly loves me. It is my duty, and my honor, to earn those blessings every day from here on out.
21. And... yep... I will beat them all at the sprint triathlon in March. BRING IT ON!

Hard day

I don't even know where to begin. My heart feels like it is broken into a million pieces. There are only a few times in my life when I have felt pain like this and I could live the rest of my life never feeling it again.

To back-up a little....
We have four dogs - our little malte-poo Baxter who is about to be 10, Bangara who is a street dog from India whom I rescued while I was working in Bangalore, Sampson who just turned 2, rescued from the euthanasia list, and Sierra, also almost 2 who was also on "the list". Last spring we had a horrible episode when through some type of escalation, Bangara turned on little Baxter. He started attacking him and that aroused the pack or fight instinct in Sampson. The attack was brutal and Baxter was lucky to come out alive. He required surgery and multiple stitches.

It was so hard to imagine any of our dogs being aggressive. They are raised like our children, in our home, and spoiled probably way more than my girls were. They were sweet, and loving, and fun. But that day I saw something horrifying.

Since that time, there have been no repeat instances although we have learned to be constantly on edge. We were warned that once dogs exhibit red-zone behavior their potential for re-offense is significantly higher. We protected Baxter, keeping him separate as much as possible.

So last night I get home after being gone a week. Bangara and I have always had a very special bond, from that very first night I found him in Bangalore. One of the things I look forward to most coming home is Bangara's excited little dance and prancing about. Last night was no exception. As Bangara pranced around me excited, Sam decided to join in. Next thing we knew they were in battle. We were able to separate them, settle them down, and once we were certain they were calm, we tried again. The same result, but this time when trying to separate them Devin got bit on his hand and his stomach.

I guess we always knew that it was a ticking time-bomb waiting to explode. We knew the chances were high for recurrence of the aggression, but we just did not want to believe it. We slept with heavy hearts and wanted to believe that it was all a misunderstanding or an isolated incident when we awoke. But it wasn't.

No more than five minutes after getting them up from their crates this morning, they attacked each other again. After a lot of tears, discussion, more tears, and a discussion of our options, we decided the only thing we could do was to put them both down. We discussed trying to find another home for each of them, but chances were they would be aggressive again. We could not live with the thought of a child being injured or attacked. Or another pet. Or a person.

Brittany met us at the vets and Devin and I both stayed with them, one at a time, as they drew their last breaths. We hugged them and pet them and told them over and over how much we loved them. We told them each the story of how we came to rescue them and how much we loved being their mommy and daddy. We told them that we would see them again some day and that it wouldn't hurt. They would just fall asleep. The vet's office was amazing and let us spend time with each of them. They gave them a slight sedative to make sure they were relaxed and unafraid.

I try to look at it as though we gave each them years that neither one of them would have had otherwise. We gave them love and care and attention. We played with them when we were home and missed them when we weren't. And in return I received the most beautiful unconditional love.

But I know it is going to take a very long time for my heart to heal.... and maybe it never will. Each loss I've experienced in my life has taken a few more pieces. Pieces that don't ever seem to be replaced.

Just a little vacation from blogging!

Oops. If blogging every day of my 40th year was really an important goal for me, I certainly have not demonstrated that. Guess I have a LOT of catching up to do. Here are the highlights of the past three months.

September we started our month+ of travel.

The week of September 7th I delivered PMP training in San Francisco for one of our partner companies. The great thing about doing their classes is that we use MY materials. So much better. I had a great group and ended up becoming good friends in particular with one of the ladies. She is just one of those cool people that love to hang out with and talk to. She was so cool, as a matter of fact, she was able to get Brooke backstage passes to the Journey / Night Ranger concert in Pensacola. Always enlightening when we do classes for other companies to identify the deficiencies... specifically in customer service. Really bothers me when people aren't accurately prepared for the class. My theory... once you get in that class you should worry about nothing other than learning all of the material.

At this time we had already purchased our three-leg flight for the Dominican Republic. We were supposed to go to DR with Telle and Kristin and then fly up to Boston and deliver a PMP class for a local chapter up in New England. A week before we were to leave, the chapter cancelled the class. Can you say "oh shit"? We already had the books, the reservations, etc. We scrambled and were able to successfully pull together a Boston class.

DR was incredible and although we felt terribly guilty that we were taking a vacation under such poor financial conditions, we convinced ourselves that it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, it was super cheap, we couldn't let Telle and Kristin down, on and on. Anything to make ourselves feel better! The resort was beautiful and it was just a truly relaxing, phenomenal trip. It was a little frustrating not having consistent access to WiFi but we managed to get some work done. Devin was a champ and would walk up to the lobby with me twice a day so we could do emails and work on our class enrollment. We met some great people and learned that it is totally possible to spend 8 days in a very small room with another couple and still be friends at the end of the trip!

We flew from DR to Boston and it was so nice to be able to get home during the fall. The leaves were amazing! We picked up Kim and took a drive up through New Hampshire to Fryeburg and finally got to attend the Fryeburg Fair - it's been YEARS!! It was perfect...and it was so awesome to expose Devin to the fair. He got to see the world's largest pig. He can die a happy man now!.

Class went well in Boston but we received the pretty devastating news that the hard drive that crashed was completely unrecoverable. All of our movies, pictures, and worse... our course documents. It was a pretty painful and expensive lesson to just BACK UP YOUR FILES!!! DUH!!! Here it is December and we are still working on recreating our files. Some stuff is just lost forever. :-( Very thankful that I had a copy of our pictures, or at least most of them, on my laptop.

We got back from Boston and had one day to get the house ready from top to bottom for the home exchange. It was a crazy 36 hours and before we knew it, we were sitting on the plane heading to Chicago and then off to Paris. The home exchange was amazing, better than I could have imagined! I'll detail that out in another blog.

We got back to Phoenix on October 27th and real life kicked back in. The following week I did a class in Phoenix and then I was off to Altanta. Atlanta was pretty good with the exception of the last day of class. The parking lot was up on a hill in front of the hotel, with wide concrete steps. I had a little spring in my step that morning - wearing my pin-striped suit, hair done, good make-up - on my way to the office to film some videos for our client. Then BAM. Face-first down on the concrete steps. How embarrassing! Big black egg on my chin. My jaw hurt for a few days. But other than that the pain was more in the humiliation. So much for filming videos!

Home for a week to celebrate Thanksgiving. We decide to do a very small, very quiet Thanksgiving at home. Just the girls. It was heart-breaking, though, that Brooke wasn't able to come home. So strange to have our first big holiday without one of the girls. Brandy was home and Brit came over with Nate... it was a day of eating, wine, and playing games. The surprise of the day was that I won the American Idol singing game. Just messed up. I'm the worse singer in the world!! LOL

This week was DC and I'm now sitting in the gate waiting to go home. I can't wait. And I'll actually be home for awhile!! :-)

RMNP - Part II

Day two in RMNP and we packed up camp and played some hack (and yes, believe it or not, I actually participated... not well, but who cares?) I can definitely see the appeal now! :-) It was fun and I can just imagine how much more fun it would be with actual coordination!

The hike up to Tonahutu was over 5 miles but with a more gradual ascent than we experienced the day before. I pretty much would try to pick my spot at the back of the pack.... I was very conscious of how slow I was, or at least perceived myself to be. This was a bit unfortunate because I really wanted to experience the hike with Devin, who happened to be one of the fastest ones in the group (something to do with his legs being a foot longer than mine or something).

I was pleasantly surprised to realize that my endurance and strength had greatly improved just since the trip to Blue Ridge.... thank you very much Wii and EA Sports Active! The pack carried well and although I got a bit of a ribbing about how light my pack was in comparison there were two factors that went into it: As far as percentage of body weight, I was up there with everyone else and my pack is just a little ladies pack - only fits so much! :-)

The RMNP Backpacking Trip - Part 1

After a year of planning, we finally did our backpacking trip in Rocky Mountain National Park. Leading up to the trip I was a bit nervous (re: the hike, altitude, being cool and fitting in - ha ha). I had only done one backpacking trip prior which was our 2-day trip to Blue Ridge Reservoir here in AZ with Telle and Kristin. Not quite the same as 6 days with a group of 10 in RMNP.

The original plan was to rent a couple of bear canisters up in Denver for our food, since they are now required. I was a little hesitant for a couple of reasons - I wanted to make sure the food we were bringing was going to fit into 2 canisters and also, if we're going to be backpacking frequently, perhaps we should just buy a couple. With that thought in mind, Devin didn't reserve our rental canisters. The day before we're flying to Denver, we run to REI to get the canisters. Only problem, they're sold out. They call the Denver REIs - they to are sold out and no rentals available. This is where procrastination really irritates me!





Our food for 6 days...

Starting to panic a bit, we both start calling every possible sporting goods store in the Phoenix area and are told over and over that they are sold out. I finally hit the jackpot at Sports Chalet. A quick stop, and with 2 bear canisters in hand, we finish up our shopping, focusing on food. At home, we planned our meals, laid out everything, and I made a batch of homemade granola bars (YUMMY!). The plan was to cook one dinner for ourselves and two dinners for us and Telle and Kristin. They would cook on the opposite nights. So here was the first challenge - create delicious dinners, not out of a package.

Devin decided on rice, velveeta, bacon bits, spices, Taco Bell fire sauce, packaged chicken, all wrapped in a tortilla. I went a little more ethnic with a recipe for chicken curry. Our first night meal, I used rice, powdered spaghetti sauce mix, velveeta cheese and chicken.... do you see a theme emerging? We decided to go easy on breakfast with oatmeal, and lunches of either snack mixes or Ramen with tuna. All laid out, we packed the canisters and were impressed that it all fit perfectly.

To complicate our preparation, we also needed to pack for our Chicago trip to Brooke's graduation, as we were going to simply touch down in Phoenix long enough to switch out our bags before getting on another flight.

With backpacks all set and everything packed into two hockey bags and our Chicago bags all situated, we were on our way. The flight to Denver was unremarkable although the landing was a bit scary as we bounced wing to wing. Somehow the pilot managed to land on the wheels first. Mike picked us up at the airport and we headed over to his cousin Reuben's house where we were going to meet up with the rest of the group and spend the night. We rendezvoused with Kristin, Telle, Pat, and Kristen at Sports Authority, grabbed fishing poles and a fishing license, and then did a practice run with our tents in Reuben's backyard. Pizza, beer, and some light rain made the night perfect.

The next morning everyone packed up their gear, filled their nalgenes, loaded up packs into Mike's truck and we were off. The ride up to RMNP was beautiful and Mike filled us in on local information, what the roads were like during a snowstorm, etc. We stopped at a spot close to the park, in Grand Lake, to have breakfast at the Bear Cafe. Incredibly local and non-commercialized, the waitress took our order with her baby on her hip. The portions were generous and the food was good. Satisfied, we continued on our journey to the RMNP visitor's center to pick up the permits.

At the trailhead, everyone took their time situating their gear, played a little hackey-sack, took some pictures and then we were ready. The first day we were to hike to Big Meadows. Although only a 1.8 mile hike, we would be adjusting to 50+ pound packs, a significant gain in altitude, and a pretty steep climb.

I decided to start out in my boots, hoping for better luck than I had at Blue Ridge, but probably 1/3 of the way in, I realized it was a no-go and switched over to my sandals. Unfortunately, not quick enough to prevent a loss of 3 toenails and some pretty gnarly blisters. At first the altitude got me. I had a hard time filling my lungs and was disappointed in my ability to keep a quick pace. But after awhile my body started to adjust and I welcomed the burn in my legs, the sweat, and the increased heart rate (must have been my endorphin rush!). The path was beautiful and the air smelled so good. (one of the things I miss most about Maine is that smell....).

After a few hours of pretty strenuous hiking, we arrived at the site which was surprisingly in a big meadow... (hmmmmm wonder why it's called Big Meadow). The actual group campsite was an island of pine trees plopped in the middle of the meadow. A creek that was alive with fish, snaked it's way through the meadow and was a perfect source for water filtering. After pitching camp, we filtered water, did some fishing, and then enjoyed an evening of good food, company, and the famous hooch. Life was good!

My first fish caught at Big Meadows

The plan for the rest of my life...

I am most decidedly at a significant crossroad in my life - the closing of one very large, sometimes painful, chapter, and the opening of an entirely new and different chapter.

There are four main currents of change at work: first and foremost, after 23 years of being a mom (more than half of my life), my children are now all grown and out of the house. I will always be a mom and very involved with their lives, but it's so different when you have two on different coasts.

The second current of change is our business. Little did I know when I chose to leave my cushy corporate job that my business and professional life would take such an incredible path. While the company is still most definitely in a start-up phase and we've yet to reap any significant financial benefits, there is no doubt about the success that lies so near to us. I believe strongly that we have perfected our business model and it's surprisingly simple: Do the right thing by our clients ALWAYS, go above and beyond, and build our business based on referrals and results. The most beautiful thing about my "job" (other than it doesn't feel like a job) is that it travels with me. This allows us to live anywhere in the country and still be able to work.

The third current of change is the remarkably nostalgic birthday I will be celebrating exactly 8 weeks from today. The big 4-0. Here's the nostalgic piece to me... my assumption going into it is that I have, from that point, lived the majority of my life. I may make it to 80 or beyond, but statistically speaking I have less years ahead of me than behind me. Which, quite honestly, doesn't bother me in the least, however, it does spur me on a bit to maximize all of my remaining days and years. I feel like I'm 18, just smarter and stronger. I love the person I am becoming. I love that I still have a lot of lessons to learn and a lot of growing to do. I love knowing that I have no boundaries and no limits. That, I believe, is the beauty of age! My new motto in life: no more wasted days.

The fourth current of change, although definitely not the least impactful, is my marriage. Although we have been married for two years, this is the first time we are experiencing life alone - just the two of us. My favorite thing is "doing life" with my husband... whether it's working on the business, doing stuff around the house, or shopping at Costco. He is my partner, my best friend, and there is nothing I look forward to more than just continuing to grow our love, our marriage, and our life.

So that leads me to the rather auspicious title of this blog... the plan for the rest of my life. Now don't think that I am so conceited or stupid as to think I can truly plan out my life... that's in God's hands, however, I can plan out my approach to life.

First off, Devin and I have been talking about how interesting and exciting it would be to choose ten destinations around the US and live for one full year in each location. To me, this is an absolute dream. I have the attention span of a gnat and am incredibly restless. The promise of annual change is completely exciting to me. For Devin, who was born and raised here in AZ, I imagine that while exciting, it's somewhat nerve-wracking as well. His entire network is here: friends, family, hockey. I have a virtual network, with most of my friends and family back east, and my girls scattered literally from coast-to-coast.

We fueled our excitement by purchasing a huge wall map of the US and began identifying where we would like to live. After 13 years in the desert, I'm dying for seasons and the ocean, preferably the Atlantic. Never quite warmed up to the Pacific as much. However, we both admit to being somewhat wimpy when it comes to cold and snow. We want to experience both city living and country living.... so here's the final top 10 list, in no particular order:

• Savannah, GA
• Chicago, IL
• Boston, MA (that's my choice! so it only has one star!!)
• Seattle, WA
• San Francisco, CA
• Juneau, AK
• Somewhere in Hawaii
• Somewhere in PA - preferably a small farm
• Southern CA (San Diego-ish)
• Denver, CO

Our thought is to start out at the cheapest place to live, which definitely leaves out SF, Hawaii, and Boston. Savannah is a good option or potentially somewhere in the Carolinas.

If things happen they way we think they will, the plan will begin to unfold next Spring. I can't wait! We'll ride out the winter here, which is perfect, and then set off on our decade of exploration! Our goal is to live light, slim down, be portable and rent in each location. And we'll just see how it goes. Maybe we'll get somewhere and decide that's where we want to put down roots or maybe we'll decide to start looking internationally (much more plausible if the business takes off!).

I always have a book going or planned in my head, so needless to say the Decade of Exploration will make for a great book!

Things I LOVE....

1. As I've mentioned in many other posts, I LOVE working with my husband. And interestingly enough, we are total opposites, but I know that's what makes us great together. For example, I look over at his desk: Totally spotless. Not a piece of paper. Nothing. A laptop closed neatly. Now look at my desk: Two glasses, one water bottle, one Rt 44 cup from Sonic (that's Sinara's), piles of books (PMBOK 4th Ed, PMBOK Q&As, Our coursebook, workbook, etc), our new PPM calculator in sexy lime green, Brooke's sr. pictures, a box of Christmas cards (because I'm sending Brooke one every day), note paper, stickies, home phone, cell phone, highlighter, picture discs, etc, etc, etc. [Personally, I think this just shows my creative genius at work!]. But bottom line, we're both committed to this business and making it succeed.

2. My niece, Sinara (CC). She seriously ROCKS. I am having so much fun with her and although I'm sad that we've missed the past 15 years together, I'm thrilled about the future. She is just incredible - just like my other three nieces and my three daughters! It must be something good salvaged from this gene pool!

3. My job - I know, I know. I already kinda mentioned it above, but it's just incredible. Yes, there are many, many long days and nights, but it's so worth it.

4. The office phone - like the call I got today from a gentleman in Wisconsin. Registered him and his co-worker for our class in Chicago. LOVE calls like that!

5. Facebook - yeah, it sounds silly, but it's really borne friendships and relationships that didn't exist before and gives me this virtual network of amazing friends!

6. Wii - Totally, 100% addicted. The most incredible invention EVER. I seriously just love everything about it. Playing Mario Kart, boxing, my EA Sports Active trainer.... it's awesome.

7. My puppies.... and yes, I say this with real, legitimate tears. They are such amazing little creatures who love me and trust me completely. It breaks my heart to know that we will have to give them up. I know, deep down, it's the right thing, but that certainly doesn't make it any easier. So far, we haven't found homes for them and I just don't know what to do. It's going to be a tough few months.